Editor’s Note: Squeaky wrote the following post because I’m lousy at blogging about personal stuff. After all, I’m a GUY; I can’t very well talk publicly about feelings and relationships and all that mushy crap. So I let her do it:
Dear Intarwebs,
TD didn’t feel equal to the task of announcing his feelings about our relationship on his blog, so I offered to do it for him, and he will post it if it suits his opinion well enough.
I’m going to make this simple, so as to not embarrass him too much. You know how guys get when they’re embarrassed - they do things like grunt and slap their chests and break things to prove their manliness.
I would hate to see TD get embarrassed and do something like smash his laptop. Those things cost more than, say, a salad plate to replace.
Anyway, as I mentioned in my post, we’ve been talking for around 8 months via teh intarwebs. Neither of us is sure when exactly that happened, or why, but we both have a hunch that we “met” in the comment section of Tam’s blog. Hence the reason why both of us feel we owe her a beer.
It began as friendly commenting on each other’s blogs. I was with someone at the time, and had no intention, no matter how unhappy I was, of engaging in an emotional affair, particularly with someone who lives so far away. That’s just silly. It went from there into a sort of partnership, as TD offered to let me host my blog and website on his Dreamhost space. In addition, since I’m more than a little technologically retarded, he helped me to upload things, make my home page look simple, but interesting enough to make people want to click the photo to come to my blog, helped me re-do my template, and various other tasks that led to more than one instance of me having a shit fit out of frustration. This took place over IM, by the way, and it’s a testament to both his talent and his patience that anything whatsoever got done, because I’ll be damned if I didn’t want to give up after 10 minutes of that shit.
He tells me that the photo I used to use on Blogger for identification caused him to think I was out of his league. Emo glasses? Check. Red hair with purple streaks? Check. Lord only knows what made him think that. The boy needs a self-esteem boost. He also tells me that by October, he began falling for me. Insert collective “awww” here.
Not so fast, though, because I was still with my boyfriend, though things weren’t exactly hunky-dory. Through that, TD was a gentleman and didn’t do anything more than be a good friend to me.
When that relationship began falling apart, he offered a virtual ear (and virtual shoulder), keeping his distance emotionally, even while we’d made plans to visit each other, as friends and fellow gun bloggers. Throughout this plan making, he made it VERY clear that he would do nothing to make me feel uncomfortable. No flirting, no touching, nothing - you know, unless I *wanted* to…
Well, the day arrived, he came to Memphis, and aside from the initial feeling of, “WEIRD - you’re here!”, I’d say that things went pretty smoothly. There was no awkwardness. Neither of us had any trouble adjusting to speaking to each other straight out, rather than in type. Skype probably helped that transition, honestly.
Despite the front he puts on here, he has a lot of feelings. And they became quite apparent within hours of his arrival. To save him the aforementioned embarrassment, I’ll leave out what was said/done. The obvious next statement is that I shared those feelings. We talked about them, and both agreed that we didn’t want to do a long-distance relationship.
Then he started talking about WHEN I come to Detroit…WHEN he visits me again…
That was when we pretty much figured out that whatever was going on, we were just going to roll with it, because we were already too entrenched in it, and it hadn’t even been 3 days (IRL).
By the 8th day, when he was leaving, it took everything I had to walk away from him as he disappeared through the security checkpoint. He offered more than once to buy me a ticket to go with him…jokingly, of course (of course).
Now he’s cleaning his room in preparation for my arrival, which we all know means true love.
So, Intarwebs, I hope you enjoyed that little foray into the personal psyche and very heart and soul of TD, even if I had to do it for him, because he’s too much of a perfectionist to be able to make the entry himself in a timely manner.
LUV AND KISSES!
-Squeaky Wheel
