Nice-But-Clueless Neighbor/Client: Do you know Flash?
TD: Nope, sorry.
NBCN/C: My son needs to learn Flash for his job.
TD: Well, there’s plenty of books on the subject, and online tutorials, and classes…
NBCN/C: Can I just give him your phone number so he can call and you can help him?
TD: I’m afraid I can’t help him; I don’t know Flash.
NBCN/C: But he needs it for work!
TD: Yes, well I’d love to help but as I said…
NBCN/C: It’s all some kind of code that he doesn’t understand. He’s an animator.
TD: …
NBCN/C: He draws pictures.
(this conversation essentially repeats itself for a good five minutes…)
TD: You know, he should probably go to Borders and get a book on Flash; there are several on the market.
NBCN/C: Oh… well, okay. Thanks anyways.
After the third time I wouuld have said “SURE! Send him over! My billing rate is a reasonable $200/hr, but because your my neighbor, I’ll cut it to $175″
Watch how fast he leaves. Nothing drives away idiots faster than being presented with a bill.
I know this conversation well
Except I usually get asked about MS Access, of which I know absolutely nothing about.
I find its easier to talk to the individual themselves than the parent/uncle/friend and just tell them to buy the book.
I know the feeling; at least my last job gave me a copy to play with… then foisted a graphics artist on us to teach it. We were all Learning Developers/Technical Writers with education and training backgrounds. This clown couldn’t teach a a cub scout troop to find the restroom after a watermelon-eating contest. Tell him to try the tutorials on Newgrounds.com then watch him get fired for playing all the NSFW games there at work.