The Unforgiving Sister is in town for Christmas. She decided that Clancy needed a collar. So she gets a LIME GREEN collar decorated with FLOWERS and RHINESTONES for my MALE kitten.

I hope to hell one of us is the mailman’s kid.

Clancy’s doing fine, by the way. He’s taken to waking me up in the morning by standing on my chest and SCREAMING at me to get up and feed him. I don’t suppose any of you cat lovers know how to fix that?

Remember the traffic lawyer/legislator who introduced a law imposing a $1050 “abuser fee” on people who drive more than 10 over? He’s at it again.

My favorite part of the article:

“When you turn law-abiding people into criminals, they lose all respect for the law,” Michigan Judge Michael Jarreau testified before a state legislative committee. “I will almost never take a guilty plea for driving with a suspended license.”

There’s a man who understands. Too bad there aren’t more like him in government.

Christmas Eve family dinner went pretty well. No screaming and very little blood, though there was a close call when I heard about the way my sister planned to abuse the Porterhouses.

Just gotta get through tomorrow and then I can go back to being a recluse.

I am not the most socially graceful guy on the planet. And I never know what to say when I meet the husband of a girl I used to mess around with. Especially when the first words out of his mouth are, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you.”

What am I supposed to say to that?

“Yep, I was the guy who did lots of dirty things with your wife. Well, I was one of those guys…”