Ingrate.

 The following is an actual transcript:

Me:    need ur address d00d

pdb:    fer?

Me:    sending the kid a present

pdb:    awwww
pdb:    You ‘ol softie
pdb:    wait
pdb:    can I have this delivered at home, or should I get a PO box?

Me:    for a stuffed animal?!?

pdb:    dude, it’s you
pdb:    I was fearing the worst

Me:    yeah, I’m sending your kid a dead hooker

pdb:    see, that’s what i’d expect

What he doesn’t know is, it’s a dead hooker stuffed animal.

  1. Alcibiades McZombie

    So you’re shopping at Spencer’s, then?

  2. Be a classy guy; send a raincheck for real live hooker on the kid’s 16th.

  3. I don’t know much of taxidermy, but I know it must be real hard to keep hooker skin supple after the mounting. What’s your secret?

  4. It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…

  5. Man, I have some spooky readers…

  6. …but I know it must be real hard to keep hooker skin supple after the mounting.

    If you leave out the taxidermy part, that takes on a whole new meaning. Even with the taxidermy part if you are more than a little warped.

  7. Alcibiades McZombie

    Well, you could spend a lot of time stuffing a hooker. It’s a lot of hard work.

  8. I thought that you were supposed to “mount and stuff” a hooker. Just not like a taxidermist. I would think that she would charge more for that…

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