David Foster Wallace’s piece in this month’s Atlantic Monthly.

Powerful stuff.

Short version: it’s a clone of every other plastic fantastic on the market, and Ruger’s at least a decade late to the party.

Before I dig into more detail, I need to eat a little crow. But just a little. When rumors of the new gun first started circulating, my initial response was this:

What are the chances that it’ll sport an integral key lock, magazine safety, loaded chamber indicator and billboard-size warning on the slide? I’m placing the odds at 50 to 1.

Well, I was right on two of the four counts. There’s no integral key lock and the warning is small and molded into the frame, instead of huge and carved into the slide. The loaded chamber indicator, while basically useless, shouldn’t cause any problems. The same can’t be said for the magazine safety, though. From the Ruger manual:

CAUTION: Dry firing your RUGER SR9 with the magazine removed may result in damage or unnecessary wear to the striker blocking mechanism.

Didn’t we just go through this with the P345? Guys, if you just HAVE to include a mag safety, at least go to the trouble of engineering it so the damn thing won’t break like that.

EDIT:

On the bright side, from looking at the parts diagram, removing the mag safety should be a simple and straightforward operation; knocking out the roll pin above the magazine release will release the safety lever and spring from the frame.

The above is incorrect; I was looking at the tiny diagram on the sales flyer and misinterpreted it. Looks like the mag safety is a plunger and spring in the slide, behind the firing pin block.

With that out of the way, here’s some first impressions:

Hits

• Ruger got the bore axis nice and low.
• The grip is nicely contoured towards the top, which should improve the trigger reach for small-handed shooters.
• Reversible backstrap insert is genuinely clever. Not revolutionary, but nifty.
• Field stripping doesn’t require the trigger to be pulled, a la the Glock. I never really understood why some people make a big deal of that, but those folks should be happy with the SR9.
• 1911-style thumb safety is a nice touch, though it may be positioned a bit too far rearward for shooting with your thumb atop the safety.
• Both the thumb safety and the mag release are ambidextrous.
• Bonus points to Ruger for putting out a PDF chart of compatible holsters. Hopefully they were also smart enough to get gun molds distributed to holster makers right away.

Misses

• The above-mentioned stupidity re: the mag safety.
• Trigger pull distance is on the long side at .48″. Hopefully you can “ride the reset,” Glock-style.
• Lack of originality. This isn’t a flaw per se, but come on. Take one look at the parts diagram and it’s crystal-clear we’re looking at a Glock clone with a couple of extra safety doodads tacked on. Ruger could replace their “Arms Makers for Responsible Citizens” tagline with “The Technology of 20 Years Ago Today!”
• Full-size 9mms aren’t exactly the hot market segment right now. If a more compact version for the CCW market and the option of .40 S&W aren’t already in the works, they damn well should be. Then again, Ruger still likes to pretend that the CCW market doesn’t exist…

Conclusion

Yawn. The SR9 looks like a solid but thoroughly unexciting offering in an already-crowded market segment. I doubt it will displace the Glock, XD, and S&W M&P as the market leaders.

One of my regular email correspondents is a brilliant guy with a Ph.D. in high-energy physics and a bizarre sense of humor. When I got an email from him with the subject line “Chinese Toilet Enema,” I knew I had blogfodder on my hands…

Click here for a truly remarkable commercial.

For me, the best part is the CGI-animated demonstration of how this magnificent device works. In fact, I found it so visually stunning that I’m filled with gratitude for the filmmakers’ decision to repeat the demo twice more during the commercial.

I’m even MORE grateful, though, for the “how to use toilet paper” segment at around 3:40; apparently I’ve been doing it wrong!

Man, I shouldn’t blog when I’m this drunk…

Henchman #24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.

Henchman #21: Oh my God, you’re crazy! They’re so obviously mammals!

Henchman #24: Please! She’d be in estrus 24/7 if she didn’t lay eggs.

Henchman #21: Smurfs don’t lay eggs! I won’t tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They’re mammals!

I love that show.

From SAFR and NRA/ILA via SayUncle:

State Representative Paul Opsommer (R-93) has introduced legislation that seeks to repeal the required “safety inspection” for newly obtained handguns. House Bill 4490 would also require law enforcement agencies to destroy safety inspection records on file.

Michigan’s “safety inspection” is an absolute joke and a blatant end-run around the state Constitution (registration would be unconstitutional, but if you call it a “safety inspection” instead, everything’s hunky-dory!).

Of course, the antis will surely argue that this is a vital “common-sense” provision to protect the public. And if that was the case, the “safety inspection” would actually assure the functional safety of your handguns, right? Here’s a direct quote from one of the “Safety Inspection Certificates” in my wallet:

A cursory inspection has been made of this pistol presented. A check for operational or mechanical defects has not been made of this pistol.

There you have it. And if the “safety inspection” is all about safety, why does this little card list my full name, address, race, sex, height, hair color and eye color? Obviously none of those have the slightest bearing on the gun’s safety, but they’re exactly the sort of information you’d want to put in a statewide gun registry.

Another quote from the SAFR email:

Other cities have made it hard for people to bring their guns in. They will only accept guns for safety inspections during certain hours making it difficult for people to get the inspections done.

Yep, and I live in one of them. My city does “safety inspections” on an appointment-only basis, and good luck getting an appointment at a convenient time. Hell, I’ve had trouble getting them to pencil me in AT ALL within the legally required 10 day after-purchase period.

So here’s hoping for an end to this pointless, dishonest, underhanded and wasteful law. My reps have already been contacted; I urge you to get in touch with yours.

The Candidate Calculator matches me with Ron Paul at 87.10%. And I’m a Ron Paul supporter. Amazing. In other news, sun rises in East, water remains wet.

A few of the questions annoy me, though…

Do I support federal funding of embryonic stem cell research? Well, no, but that’s because I don’t think the federal government should be in the business of funding medical research in the first place, not because I have any moral or ethical issues with that particular type of research. This little quiz conflates two separate issues: legality of the research itself, and government funding (with taxpayer dollars) of same. Unfortunately, “yes to the former, no to the latter” isn’t a choice.

The same goes for Internet neutrality. While I’m strongly in favor of keeping the net neutral, I don’t believe that (A) it’s the government’s job to mandate and enforce net neutrality, or (B) that the government could effectively do so even if it WAS their job. Like PJ O’Rourke said, “When buying and selling are legislated, the first things bought and sold are the legislators.” Any kind of federal net neutrality bill would be so hopelessly riddled with loopholes and exemptions that it could only hurt matters. So again, there’s no “right” answer available on the test.

Still, I can’t bitch too much; the calculator DID rank Giuliani and Clinton dead-last, with 35.48% and 32.26%, respectively. I’m left wondering why those numbers are non-zero!

(H/T to Zendo Deb)

Not mine, unfortunately. But damn, that’s a beautiful Hi-Power.

Kat Dennings

Just don’t have much time for blogging right now. Things should get back to normal in a few days.

From the man himself, Jackson Publick.

If you’re not already a fan of The Venture Bros., get the hell off my blog. No, really. Leave. You’re not allowed back until you email me your receipts for the DVDs.

Trust me, folks, there’s NOTHING better on TV. Hell, there’s no other reason to have cable!