Just saw this commercial during “Iron Chef America.”

Cadillac. Selling a station wagon, of all things. Yuppie family getting ready in the morning. The Pogues‘ “Sunnyside of the Street” (off of Hell’s Ditch) as the soundtrack. And the verse they chose to use:

So I saw that train
And I got on it
With a heartful of hate
And a lust for vomit
Now I’m walking on the sunnyside of the street

As David St. Hubbins put it, “It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.”

Ah well, at least Shane and the boys should be getting a few bucks out of it. Probably a good laugh, too.

Today marks an unhappy anniversary for me and I’ve been in a foul mood all week (hence the light blogging), but Bonnie talked me into doing this LALOLKFATYK thing, so here goes:

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WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yep, my maternal grandfather.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Can’t actually remember; it’s been a very long time.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No, it’s totally illegible, even to me.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Prosciutto, followed by regular ham.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? None that I know of, thankfully.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably not. I’m a bastard.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Me? No. Absolutely not. Never.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Tonsils are a figment of the liberal media.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Only if there was a sufficient reward for doing so. It’d have to be a pretty sizeable reward…

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I almost never eat breakfast and haven’t had cereal in years, but my favorite was Lucky Charms.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Velcro, baby! Except not really. Yes, I untie my shoes.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I know I’m not.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? No one outside of Southeastern Michigan will know what I’m talking about, but I’m a big fan of bumpy cake ice cream.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Boobs.

RED OR PINK? I don’t really understand the question.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Yeah, I’m gonna pass on this one.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My grandpa.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans and white socks. My (untied) shoes are brown Vans.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A tamale dinner from Pancho’s, a passable local Mexican joint.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Dead Boys’ “All This and More.” Lyrics:

Gotta feeling in my knees that tells me the degrees I’ve been loved on
You got dents in your head that tell me all the beds you’ve been shoved on

Oh Stiv, you were such a romantic.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Flesh, duh.

FAVORITE SMELLS? Gasoline. Pipe smoke. Leather. Hoppe’s #9. Tequila.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? John, who called me in the middle of my tamale dinner. That’s why I almost never answer the phone.

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? There is but one true sport, and boxing is its name.

HAIR COLOR[S]? Very dark brown, almost black.

EYE COLOR? Brown.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Used to, but went back to glasses.

FAVORITE FOOD? Sushi, particularly toro, unagi, and uzura no tamago.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary movies. “All great stories end in death.” - Hemingway

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Rollerball, the 1975 original with James Caan.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? A black T-shirt from the Getty Center.

SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter.

HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses, I guess.

FAVORITE DESSERT? Lately it’s been frozen custard from Bob-Jo’s.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I have no idea.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? pdb. He’s not a team player.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Just finished I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead: The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon; about to start Redemption Song: The Ballad of Joe Strummer. Rockstar bios make for good summer reading.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don’t need one; I have a TrackPoint.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Rollerball on DVD.

FAVORITE SOUND[S]? Fun House. The Blue Mask. Rain Dogs. Marquee Moon.

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Stones. Beggars Banquet.

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Santiago, Chile. It sucked, don’t waste your time.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Why yes I do, thanks for asking.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? On the banks of the mighty Detroit River.

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I try not to get my hopes too high.

Paul Simer of Too Lazy to Fail just posted a fantastic guide for new shooters on his blog. Go read.

For a good long while I had (and consistently met) a personal goal of taking one newbie to the range every month. Financial and physical limitations (bad wrist) forced me to temporarily suspend that project, but just last week an old friend asked me to take her shooting. And when a pretty girl asks for help, one answers the call!

So I get to be a teacher again, and I’m excited about that. I especially like taking women to the range. Partially that’s because we need more women involved in the shooting sports, but it’s also because women tend to make better students. Guys seem to think, “Hey, I have testicles and I’ve seen a lot of action movies. I already KNOW how to shoot.” And amazingly enough, that attitude isn’t really conducive to learning. In my experience women just take instruction better and need fewer reminders of safety rules.

Anyways, Paul’s post is now part of my “recommended reading” for new shooters. If handguns are on the menu, I also strongly encourage newbies to read Ross Seyfried’s “Hitting with Handguns” article. That piece helped me improve my own handgun shooting pretty dramatically, and I still go back and re-read it now and then. The section in the middle about mastering your body’s natural wobbles and dealing with your flinch is invaluable; he comes right out and says, “Yeah, you can’t hold still and you flinch sometimes. We’re all like that. Here’s how to deal with it.” Good stuff.

And though I’m pretty sure I’ve linked to her before, Kathy Jackson’s Cornered Cat is a terrific resource for all new shooters, but particularly for women.

So, M., read through those and let’s go shootin’!

Ms. Squeaky Wheel has a fancy new website of her very own

While the South Park Pundit struggles with some recalcitrant guard screws on his scout rifle, I figured I’d toss up a quick post about guns and screwdrivers. In one sentence: If you plan to work on your guns, you NEED a set of gunsmith’s screwdrivers.

Yeah, I know you went down to Sears and bought the ultra-mega-super-pack containing every driver Craftsman makes. I have the same set in my toolbox. They don’t come anywhere near my guns, though.

See, those regular screwdrivers are flat-ground; if you look at the tip from the side, they have a V shape. Put enough torque on a screw with one of those drivers and the tip invariably climbs up out of the slot. At best, you have a freshly-buggered screw head. At worst, your screwdriver goes skittering across the surface of your gun, gouging the finish and ruining your whole damn week.

Gunsmithing screwdrivers, though, are hollow-ground, just like a good knife blade. Viewed edge-on, the tip sports a pair of concave radii sloping down into parallel sides. Those parallel sides mean that screw and driver mate perfectly; the surfaces make full contact and there’s no tendency for the driver to ride up under torque. You can put the screws in and out all day long without damage.

Of course, gunmakers keep life interesting by using all kinds of odd screw sizes, so I recommend buying a good driver set from Brownell’s that includes at least a couple dozen bits. Mess around with guns long enough and you will end up needing all of them. Also, be aware that there are certain guns (Smith & Wesson revolvers and Browning Auto-5 shotguns come to mind) that need very specific screwdrivers. Buy the right bits or you stand an excellent chance of ruining a classic gun.

Whew, made it through that whole post without any lame “screwing” jokes. I’m in awe of my own self-control.

SayUncle explains something that’s been in the back of my mind as blogfodder: despite all the talk about women being more intuitive and empathic, guys manage to communicate just fine. And we don’t even have to use words.

Stumbled upon a fantastic deal on tuna steaks today that was just too good to pass up. Eating three of them in one sitting was a bit gluttonous, though.

Blogging will probably be light this week.

The lovely bride-to-be from yesterday’s wedding shower:

PhotoChopped myself out because, hey, nobody wants to see that.

ExistingThing intrepidly joins the ranks of the drunkbloggers with a fine first effort.

You’ve done a man’s job, sir!

A tip for next time: fewer pictures of you, more of this supposed “girlfriend” person. Remember, we’re on the Internet here; pics or it didn’t happen!

I know this is old as dirt and you’ve probably all seen it, but a conversation with Ms. Squeaky Wheel prompted me to dig out the link…

Paul Anka: “I slice like a fuckin’ hammer!”