… but it’s not what you’re thinking.

I’ve occasionally mentioned my perpetually messed-up wrists before; I have a genetic predisposition for ganglion cysts. In fact, I’ve had them continually for about 17 years now. According to Wikipedia:

Sometimes they may cause limitations of movement and can also cause weakness, pain and paraesthesia (pins and needles) if they press on adjacent nerves.

Yes to all of the above. My range of motion is cut down by maybe 40%, and when the cysts get inflamed they hurt like hell. If you guessed that handgun recoil doesn’t help the situation, you get a gold star for the day.

Anyways, while wrangling a highly agitated Unforgiving Puppy at the vet’s office this morning, the little furball managed to jolt my wrist hard enough to rupture the cyst. If you guessed that this produced no small amount of pain, you get a second gold star AND a cookie!

So now I’m lying on the couch, waiting for the Naproxen to kick in and give me a little relief. The good news is that my wrist is likely to be alright for a few months. Then, of course, the cycle starts all over.

The medical profession would have you believe that the long-term solution calls for getting a good orthopedic surgeon to go in and clean house, digging out all the scar tissue and the source of the cysts. Since I don’t much care for doctors, hospitals, or surgery, I’m trying a different tactic. I’m going to buy myself a Magnum Research BFR in .475 Linebaugh. It’s a fantastic idea: every time a cyst develops, I’ll just go to the range and squeeze off a round. Instant cyst removal!

I tell ya, sometimes I’m so smart it’s scary.