Yr Obt Svt will be out of town later this week to attend the nuptuals of his best friend in, of all places, New Jersey. Not planning to bring the laptop, so there probably won’t be any updates between Wednesday and Sunday/Monday. I know you’ll all find the inner strength to carry on in my absence.

This will be the first in a whole string of weddings this summer, and it’s the only one I’m excited about. The fact that there’s a woman willing to MARRY this guy, ’til death do us part, etc., is mind-boggling. Even more amazing, she’s hot and smart. So I’m happy for them and I very much look forward to getting blind drunk on free booze celebrating their sacred union. Apparently the bride has already issued warnings that one of the groomsmen is, and I quote: “trouble.” My reputation precedes me.

Then my cousin gets hitched two weeks later here in Michigan (Amanda, you’re my arm-candy for that one), there’s one or two in August that I’m gonna try like hell to avoid, and finally an old high school friend has her Big Day at the end of October. I’m gonna go as Frankenstein, I think. Or maybe Joey Ramone.

Oh, then there’s the one that isn’t happening anymore because someone (we’re not naming names) ended up naked, in a park, with the bride-to-be, at 2 AM a couple weeks ago. Yeah, I have no idea how to fix THAT clusterfuck.

As for me, well… to paraphrase Groucho, I wouldn’t want to be a part of any marriage that would have me as a member.