We could always, y’know, just stop MINTING the damn things…

Really, why the hell do we still have pennies? All they do is end up filling millions of Mason jars and empty water jugs across the country, because getting rid of them is too much of a hassle.

Rather than doing something useful and rational, like axing the penny, the US Mint is instead rolling out new dollar coins. Guys, take a hint. The Susan B. Anthony flopped. The Sacagawea flopped. The new coins are GOING to flop. WE DO NOT WANT DOLLAR COINS.

…

‘Cuz you can’t stuff ‘em into a G-string.