In preparation for my upcoming move to my own hosting, I’ve been looking at a lot of blogs lately. One thing I see way too often is the “give me a dollar” pitch; people putting their paypal account and Amazon wishlist right on the main page of their blogs.

I’m not talking about charity sites or uninsured folks whose kids need chemotherapy; I’m talking about regular, gainfully employed (or employable) people BEGGING on the INTERNET. Do you people have a sense of shame? Do you rattle a change cup when you go to the mall? Do you really expect me to buy you a season of Seinfeld on DVD as a thank-you for your ongoing 13-part series of posts entitled, “Why I Hate my Job?” Do you realize how fucked-up you are when you’ve got ME trying to teach you something about decorum?

Look, if you’re old enough to be blogging, you’re old enough to realize that there are RULES about begging. I have a good friend who hits me up every year to sponsor her in an AIDS walk; that is perfectly fine and I gladly help out when I can. As I mentioned before, it’s also alright to ask for help when your family has been hit with an unexpected tragedy, though it helps if the tragedy is one that you can’t take reasonable precautions against. And I personally make a special exception for webcam whores; after all, I loves me some boobies, and that community college tuition has to be paid SOMEHOW.

Outside of that, though, go fuck yourself. Seriously. Why should I give you perfectly good dollars to buy ammo and booze when I can use said dollars to buy MYSELF ammo and booze? Speaking of ammo, there’s one particular gunblogger who seems to have elevated blog beggary to a high art and a career path. The first reader to guess who I’m thinking of gets to touch the beer-can hat (airfare to Detroit not included).

Oh, and before anyone gives me shit about it, I did post something a couple days ago about rifles I’d gladly accept as Christmas presents. It was a joke and an excuse for linking to some truly awesome rifles. I don’t really expect anyone to drop 10 large on a handmade single-shot for me. Even if I show you my boobies first.